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Writer's Cramp

It has been quite a while since my last posting. I have been writing though, just not here. I feel like I've been cheating. But the good news is, I have been selling articles for a few bucks, plus lifetime page views compensation. I enjoy it, however it leaves me empty to post on my blog. Plus, I cannot post the same articles here, I would be in void of a contract...so...here is a link to my most recent articles...

Click ME!

Hope you read them.

I will write something this weekend for my blog. I feel I have been so very neglectful lately.

Motivated Against My Will

Some times we are expected to be motivated, before being asked if we want to be motivated in the first place. It is assumed we will be over the moon about some thing, when we haven't had the time to contemplate any possible interest. Other times there are tasks that need to be tackled that we'd rather be burned at the stake than do the work. Such is life, full of surprise and mystery and the mundane. Who really wants to clean out the rain gutters on a sunny, Saturday afternoon...not me, but it might be the only free time I have to get it done; so I do it, thinking of what enjoyable activity I may have to look forward to later.

Though I must admit, at the completion of such tedious activities, I do feel a sense of accomplishment for having finally got it done. I do not, however, like it when I am expected to do something I had no intention of doing in the first place, like being volunteered for a weekend charity car wash...not my cup of tea.

So, what is the trick to getting through these things without having an aneurysm? Tell yourself, this too, shall pass. It is only temporary. In the case of being volunteered, you may even tell the person who did so that you didn't appreciate it, and to ask you next time. But go ahead and finish the task anyway, you will feel better for doing so.

We all have to do things we don't want, it is part of our daily lives. How we approach the situation is what will determine how we feel inside. Trying to keep a positive attitude in the face of adversity can be hard, but well worth your peace of mind.

Working From Home: Julia's Story

What follows is a fictional account based on interviews and comments submitted by actual people who were, or are currently working from home. Any similarities between the character, Julia, and any other living person are strictly accidental. Julia is a composite created to observe a hypothetical, work from home, scenario.

Julia is thirty-two. She graduated high school then attended a local community college. Julia finished college in 1998, with an AA in psychology, fully intending to follow a career in social work. However, finding the entry level job market slim in her community, Julia winds up waiting tables at a local pub for tips, where she meets her current husband. After dating a few years, they are married in 2003. In early 2005, she gives birth to their first child. Julia waited tables up until three weeks of her due date before taking maternity leave. Money was tight for the growing family; dreams of being a social worker seemed to be slipping away from her.

Julia checked the classifieds periodically, and applied to some local agencies, hoping for a break. Finally, in 2006, Julia is accepted as an Assistant to the Social Advisor in a senior center. She also begins volunteering her services to the community by working for a local nonprofit organization on the weekends. Though she is now doing what she loves, Julia finds her time consumed by her work. She is driven to succeed at what she had waited for so long. But she felt her family was suffering for her cause.

After only a year, Julia started to feel drained. She had been pushing herself very hard to get ahead in her job. Then one afternoon, quite by accident, while searching on the internet, she came across a web site about moms working from home. It talked about many opportunities for the stay-at-home mom. That was something that had never occurred to her, setting up shop from her own home. This web site sparked some ideas in Julia, but how could it be applied to her field? She began investigating everything she could find on the subject of working from home.

To her amazement, opportunities to work from home were overwhelming in number. It took a lot of homework to weed out the scams from legitimate opportunities. For about a month Julia was working out a plan of action to begin her career at home. Her family and friends wouldn’t take her seriously. And when she began setting her plan into motion, they criticized her for wanting to take such a risk.

Julia’s husband was very understanding of her wishes to continue to earn money to help support the family, while also finding her own independence in the work force. Though he wasn’t entirely onboard, feeling it might be a waste of time. As before, Julia was determined to succeed. At first she didn’t completely quit her outside jobs, but she was able to cut her hours in half while devoting the rest of her time to getting her home-based business off the ground.

She found other ways to supplement her missing half of income by doing odd jobs she had found online. She also placed ads offering services like writing papers, articles, doing research etc. Now things were seeming to come together for her. She was more enthusiastic than ever. Her family, however, thought she just had more time on her hands. Since she was home more, they assumed she had more time to spend doing things with/for them. Her time spent at the computer working wasn’t viewed as actual work to them. Her hours invested in growing her business and income was underappreciated and misunderstood.

Julia’s family couldn’t comprehend that, as with any business, a lot of time and effort are necessary to make it successful, especially in the beginning; working from home was no exception. Now and then she would slack off, giving family and friends the attention which was asked of her. At times she found it hard to keep motivated. Those were the times that hit hardest in the pocketbook. Little time investment meant little paychecks.

With much perseverance and determination, Julia did not give up. She joined support groups online of other women working from home. From them she learned many insightful things about managing her time and her family. Eventually, she came up with the idea of treating herself as her own employee. She scheduled regular work hours and days off, and no working holidays. Every month she issued herself a paycheck, putting any extra into a surplus account, which was able to help compensate for those times when business was slow and pay was little.

Over the months that followed there were many bumps in the road, but she was able to take them in strides, never letting an opportunity to learn new things about managing and growing her home business slip by. Julia is grateful to have choices in her life that would never have been available to her had she not stumbled upon that web site. The advantages have far outweighed the disadvantages of working from home. Being her own boss is not always a picnic, but Julia is happy to face any obstacle to maintain her new found way of life.

Her family still has times when they don’t quite fully understand the dynamics of working from home, but they’re coming around more and more all the time. They certainly cannot argue about the money side of things. Julia’s has been one of a few success stories, in comparison to the thousands of failed ventures every year. Many people do not succeed their first time out. She is truly blessed.

Authors Note: The character of Julia, in no way represents everyone I spoke to for the preparation of this article. She was created to represent a majority of which have been successful in their ventures working from home. I am deeply grateful to all who took the time to offer me their insights and stories. I found many more positive messages within them then negative, and so chose to show the upside of creating a home-based business, a happy ending, if you will.
The message I intend for you to walk away with is simple: If you have determination and the willingness to succeed; if you do your homework first before jumping in with both feet; if your plan of action is well thought out, you too may be successful in your goal to create a business at home.

To Blog or Not to Blog...

Everyone is blogging these days. Young and old alike are blogging their brains out. The funny thing is, some people don't even care if no one is reading it, they just want to blog for the sake of blogging. Others are hungry to share in some of the spotlight; they feel the need to air everything, for all the World to see.

Remember when you were a kid and were given your first diary? It was secret, hidden away for no other eyes to see. You would have died if any of the information collected in there were to 'get out'. I wonder what it is about sitting at a computer screen that makes us willing to bare all? Our World is full of public diaries. I think that says a lot about who we are as a people in 2009.

I personally, have a diary (journal, if you will) that has been very neglected since the start of my own blogging. Putting pen to paper is a dying form. It is a bit sad really, when you think about it. But here I am, more motivated than ever, typing away in my blog, as my diary sits not two feet away from me; probably wondering if I will ever open it's fine cover again.

I think it is wonderful we all have something to share with the World. But as I sit here now, I'm wondering if I might start keeping some things in my journal again; keeping some of my private thoughts private.

It's a break from my usual boring motivational spiel; just a random thought I've been mulling around my brain for a few days; and see, I just couldn't help but blog about it. LOL

It is okay, Journal...I still love you. I think I will save some time for you once in a while from now on; just so I can connect with the old-fashioned side of me again. I'm swept away with technology. I don't want to forget what brought me here. Good ol' pen and paper. Amen!

Criticism: The Door to Self-Improvement

Most people hate to be criticized. We feel as if we're being attacked if someone gives us an honest opinion and it's not the opinion we were hoping for. We have done our absolute best at something and want to be recognized for our accomplishments with praise. We are hurt if anyone finds fault or points out something from a different perspective. Even if somewhere inside us we secretly agree, it is instinct to protect our hard work and so we puff up our egos to sow disdain in their criticism. "Who are they to judge us?" we ask ourselves; when we probably asked for their opinion is the first place. They veered from the script we had intended to hear from them, and we are not amused.

Granted, some are better than others at accepting criticism. Even if it's not outwardly shown, everyone is at least a little hurt by negative remarks about anything they put so much time and effort into. We see ourselves as failures if we don't 'hit the mark' on the first go. We are a proud people, us humans. I doubt that little birdie building his nest in the tree out in the yard would care in the least what you thought about his efforts.

Ego is good. We all have one. The trick is learning to keep it in check. We have to teach ourselves to remain grounded, no matter how great our accomplishments have been. We are, after all, still human as everyone else. We are limited to our own sight. Having an outside opinion can open doors to areas we might never have considered had we not listened to what was said to us.

Most importantly, if we ask for a person's opinion, we have to be willing to accept it without becoming defensive. We have to ask ourselves, "Do I really want to know what this person thinks?"

The answer will all most always be, yes. The real question is if we are ready to hear it.

We are the worst critics of ourselves there are. We condemn everything we do at one point or another, until it is perfect to us and we are satisfied we have done our best. That is why we are so quick to defend ourselves. Learning to let go of our ego isn't an easy thing to do. Letting our work open for interpretation of others takes a thick-skin and a certain comfort level with our self. Until we can be comfortable knowing we will never perfect, we will never be able to accept honest criticism with on open mind.

Self acceptance and realization that we are fallible and imperfect are so necessary when we are reaching for our goals in life. We have to free up ourselves to mistakes. Allow ourselves to fall once in a while so we learn to pick ourselves up again and not quit. Acceptance equals determination. If we are determined to accept ourselves, our acceptance will determine who we are.

Overloaded

Have you ever been so excited about something that you suddenly discovered you were doing so many things at once you couldn't keep them straight? Lately I have been learning so many new things, I've been trying them all. I find that there aren't enough free hours in a day to keep track. It seems to me, as I sit here reflecting, that a certain someone (myself) wrote an article about not adding too many new activities to your day. [Let me take a break here to go back and read my own advice...]

Okay, now that I have reread my own writing...what the heck am I thinking! Obviously, I have not been walking the walk. I have taken so many new avenues over the last week, I find myself lost not knowing which direction to take throughout my day. It's great to be motivated, but not to the point of confusion; which is about where I am now. Not to mention that I am in no way completely knowledgeable in any of the tasks I'm attempting. That makes it all the more confusing, when you have no idea what you are actually doing. Luckily, my basic knowledge has kept me afloat; for now.

So I have sat myself down, and even as I write this, I am thinking of ways to thin things down a bit. I'm collating thoughts in my head and prioritising what I should do; could do, can't do, can wait to do. As you might guess, there is a lot going on in there [my head]. Amazing that I can put anything coherent into this article. [Again, let me take a break here to gather myself and find my direction...]

All right, once again having sorted out the garbage floating around my brain, I can now devote my full attention to finishing this article.

The point is: focus, direction, priority, ability. If I keep all those in mind, I can be motivated without being overwhelmed. A big lesson to learn when you are trying too hard to succeed at anything. Quality also suffers when you spread yourself too thin. It's impossible to give the best of yourself when you're caught up in quantity. I found that your brain will actually smoke if you try to input a vast quantity of information in a small amount of time. Moderation is the key to motivated motivation!

My message for the week: Take it easy. Slow down. Think things through. Keep it simple. Moderation and common sense.

Don't smoke your brain!

Pass It On

Every once in a while a person comes along to remind you how important it is to share the knowledge you've gained from your own personal journey. Without even speaking, they all but beg to hear your story. Something about them let's you know it won't fall on def ears, like a sponge they will soak up every word. What a grand feeling to know, you, through your very own suffering, are able to pass on what mistakes not to make; how you've learned to move away from the pain and live.

Just by sharing our trespasses we are freed from them. We are lighter for having put it out there for everyone to see. We are blessed if just one single person learns by them. And when that one person come directly to you, without even realizing it, they are freeing you by needing you; your story. They are gaining understanding and insight into a world where you were once abandon and alone. Now through the grace of conversation, both are set onto a new path of knowledge and mutual understanding without any self righteousness or indignation.

There are those among us (and you know who you are) who shove their words down our throats. Who force us to listen to them tell their story, many times over in some cases. They are obnoxious and show no concern whatsoever for the others around them. They talk for the sake of talking; to hear their own voice. They have nothing to pass along because the message is lost; wrapped up in their own neurosis. In fact, they never shut their mouths long enough to listen, let alone learn something about themselves or the people around them. You have to listen to be heard.

When ever possible, listen. Learn what you have to pass on to others. If you open yourself up, you will hear and they will listen.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt'.The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven.(1)

Blah, blah, blah...

Forgiveness is hard. That is the plain truth. When we are wronged it is no easy task to pardon the wrong-doer. We are hard-wired to protect ourselves, and when we are compromised in any way our instinct is to come to our own defense. We are driven to insure we cannot be invaded again. We might become unyielding and rigid toward the wrong-doer, no matter how they try to make amends. If the wrong is wrong enough, we might even become suspicious of others we fear could harm us in the same way. Some go through their entire lives harboring resentment for a wrong-doing done unto them many years ago, afraid to let others in for fear of more inflected pain. In doing so we are cheating ourselves of our own freedom; freedom to be. We are locking ourselves away from others, not allowing for the natural course of things.

If we are on guard every minute there is no room for enjoyment.

You never have to forget. But you must come to terms with forgiveness. You must allow people to be human. You must allow yourself to be human. Harboring resentment can lead to very unhealthy living-mental and physical.

Allow yourself the freedom to forgive. Allow yourself the freedom to live. Keep yourself safe, but never shut people out. Allow them the freedom to be human and the freedom to know you as an open Being.

(1)From Wikipedia.com

Music Motivates Emotions

Just listening to the radio in the car on your way to work can be an emotional experience. A song comes on and suddenly your transported back in time; to a place in your memory that brings forth a flood of emotions. It's magical how you can remember exactly where you were or who you were with and what you were doing simply by listening to a song.

For me music has a really big impact on my mood. A few years ago I had a bout with depression. Listening to music, even that crappy elevator stuff they play when you're on hold, sent me out of control emotionally. It wasn't until then that I realized just how powerful music really was. I mean, obviously I was emotionally out of whack at the time, unable to gauge myself properly. But the point was made loud and clear how much of an impact music had in my life. Once I was healthy of mind again, I viewed listening to music in a totally new way.

Today I have learned to use music as a tool when I need it. Recently taking inventory and removing the clutter that was stored in the hallows of my mind, music played a big roll. Listening to the songs of my childhood/teens helped me find stuff in there that I needed to let go. One afternoon I put on the local oldies station. Just about every tune sparked some sort of memory or feeling in me. So for the entire afternoon I used the music to help me sort out the bad from the good. Some songs even made me think of other songs that mad me think of other memories. So I found myself on the computer looking them up on Grooveshark. By the end of the day, not only did I listen to some really great tunes, I had cleaned out a lot of old crap that was just collecting dust in my mind.

Music is great motivation. Heck, there is a whole section at the music store dedicated to motivational listening. And what would movies be without music/soundtracks? I checked it out, you'd be surprised at some of the movies I found with no soundtrack at all. Click Here, to see a list of 34 top movies with no musical score...blew my mind. A few of them I want to see again because I don't remember there being no soundtrack - especially '12 Angry Men'.

All this talk about music got me to think...would it be possible to name the one song that had the most impact on my life, emotions, memory, etc... I wonder if it would turn out to be one of my favorites, or not. I'm going to have to do some thinking about that one. For now I will end with naming one of my truest favorites of all time songs... 'The Rose' by Bette Midler. Have a listen to it. It's awesome.

What is one of your faves?

Overload

For three days I have been reflecting over my life and taking inventory. I have searched every cabinet and storage box in my brain. Wow, there was a lot of clutter in there. Once I started rummaging, I found some really old stuff, that I had forgotten about, packed away in the deepest, darkest corners. Scary stuff in there, stuff I thought I threw out years ago (Isn't that always the case when you clean out your closets, garage or drawers?), taking up space and collecting dust.

I spent quite a bit of time going through it all - too much time. I decided it was a waste. Why linger over things that didn't matter any more. Just get rid of it. So I consciously emptied out everything I found horded away, bagged it all up and dumped it into the 'No Longer Necessary' space of my brain. From there it would be forgotten forever.

I cried a little, I laughed a little, I got angry...there was a whole range of emotions packed in there. What a mess. And how time consuming it was, well never again. I vowed to myself not to let things build up; not to shove things into the darkness to collect dust. I vowed to deal with 'My Stuff' as it needs to be dealt with and do as is appropriate at the time. No wonder I was a confused mess, what with all the crap I had left un-handled and/or abandoned. I was amazed at how much lighter I felt; my spirit was lifted. What a great feeling it is to know I no longer have to drag around useless crap all day, every day with me. How could I have let it come to that- now that I know how good it feels to get rid if it all.

My motivation for the rest of the year: No more overload. Deal with things right away and take necessary action to resolve what needs to be resolved.

I even made room for a whole new 'Happy' space by ridding myself of all that cluttered junk.

It's not as hard as it sounds, taking inventory. You just have to make up your mind to make up your mind. What could be easier than that? Just kidding. I know it's hard as Hell, but well worth it to get to feel like I do now. Try it. It's a wonderful thing to wake up a little lighter in the head to start your day.

As Is...No Refunds or Exchanges

"Yes, I'd like to trade this for a newer model. When I got home I realized it didn't have all the features I was hoping for."

"I'm sorry, all sales are final. You should have read the packaging more closely before you made your decision."

"Well, is there some sort of upgrade I can install to change the functions and features more to my liking?"

"I'm afraid not. You'll have to choose a whole new model."

"Then what am I supposed to do with this one?"

"That is entirely up to you, ma'am. If you'd like my opinion, I think you should give it a chance. Keep it a while, though you may find it lacking in some functionality, if you explore and utilize it's features you'll find it can be quite an asset to add to your life. No product is 100% foolproof. Many people have been very satisfied to live with it's limitations."

"I'd really just like to change some things, is all. Are you sure there is no way?"

"Yes ma'am. Every model is individual, no two are the same. Programs are not interchangeable. You will have to learn to adapt to the one you have or start over with a whole new one."

"I don't want to start over with a new one, I've invested so much time and effort into this one all ready."

"I understand. If I could ask, exactly what is it about this model that dissatisfies you?"

"Well...it doesn't seem to meet all of my needs. Even with all of my input, it malfunctions from time to time. It's very frustrating."

"Are you sure you are entering your data properly?"

"I think so."

"You must make sure. Any improper data entry could create a conflict within the system and cause it to malfunction. It has to be able to understand what you are inputting into the system to respond accordingly. Here."

"What is this?"

"It's an input manual. It will help you learn more effectively how to input information so you will get the responses you're looking for. Read it over, I'm sure it will help solve many of your problems."

"Okay, if you think it will help. I'll try it."

"Good for you! I think you'll be quite happy, ma'am."

"Thank you. I'm looking forward to it.--Come on, Chester. Let's get on home, we have a lot of work to do. Would you like to drive, or shall I?--Good-bye now, thanks for all your help."

"Aw, you're welcome. You and Chester should communicate much better now that you have the manual. Good luck to you and have a nice day."

___________________________________________________________________________

People are not machines and they don't come with manuals. Every relationship takes motivation and work. The right communication skills within a relationship makes all the difference.

We can't expect people to 'get it', if we haven't really explained what it is they're supposed to 'get'. It's up to us to learn how to communicate with our partners or friends. It's not up to them to figure us out. We have to work on us, not try to change the other person. We will only fail if we try. Change can only come from within. We will be much happier if we remember that each and every day.

Weekend Sunshine

Even if it's raining cats and dogs, every weekend should have a little bit of sunshine. I took my own advice this weekend and I took the time to be thankful for all the wonderful things in my life. The week was a stressful one, it wasn't easy to look for a silver lining. My mindset was in a place that wasn't so bright or cheery. I was extremely negative...vibes flying everywhere.

My family followed suit with their own negative vibes (funny how that happens). That is when I realized I needed to bring sunshine into my own world. This weekend was going to be bright, all I had to do was change my attitude. Easy...NOT!

So last night I took a hot, oiled bath, exfoliated, moisturized, and every other 'ized' I could think of. I let go of all the tensions from the week. And I had a good talking with myself. "Do not sweat the small stuff, C.J.!", I said. Quite sternly, I might add. I was shocked with me. How could I talk to me like that? Because I needed it, that's why. I was creating a lot of negative energy around me and I was the only one who could change it.

This morning I put a smile on my face, even though I really wanted to scream at the World to go away. I had a cup of coffee, with my special hazelnut creamer. Before I knew it, my smile was no longer plastered on my face...it was genuine. The children ate breakfast like angels (really), and hubby was happy to chat about our plans for the next two days. Everyone seemed to feed off my new positive vibes.

The point is, some times we have to try hard but before you know it you won't even realize you were trying at all.

Some times you just have to give yourself a good talking to...you just might listen.

Is Harmony and Balance Possible?

How can you tell if there is true harmony and balance in your life? I used to ask that of myself often. I wondered how I would know if I had reached the zenith of balance and harmony in my life. I began to realize there is no zenith. It's a constant struggle to keep things balanced, so where is the harmony. The simple fact is, it is what we make it to be. What is for us may not be for others. So there is no real answer anyone can give but to themselves.

What does harmony mean to you? Answer that and you can begin to create balance in your life. For me harmony is a day to day thing. Every day has it's own song. Every week has it's own theme. Every month has it's own soundtrack. I am the producer in my own world. I have the power to edit the soundtracks of my life. I can carry forward with me any song, theme or soundtrack that fits into my life to make it balanced and right. I can leave out any song, theme or soundtrack that is not useful to my future balance and harmony. It is a complicated dance we dance to the music we create around us.

Find your rhythm and dance to the songs of your life. Every day has something new to offer. Are you listening to your own radio?

Where Are the Spring Cleaning Fairies?

Spring cleaning. Who needs it! Wouldn't it be nice if the Spring Cleaning Fairies would come while we are sleeping...we awake to a spit-shined, full of lovely aromas, home ready to welcome the new season? Yeah, I used to think the same thing about the Dish Fairy. A woman can only dream.

It's that time of year again. Mother Earth is coming back to life. The winds of March are blowing in some really pretty days now. Flowers are beginning to bloom, birds are making new nests, hibernation is over. As is true for us too...hibernation is over. Time to open up our homes and air out the dingy of Mr. Winter, and welcome the scents of Spring.

That means setting aside at least one full day to cleaning. I hate cleaning, as I'm sure do most average people (except my grandmother, who just lives to clean). Finding the motivation to get these tasks done is a tough one for me. I find that if I picture the end result in my mind it helps me to at least make a mental list of things to be done. The list seems endless...UGH!

Funny thing is, once I get started, I'm damn near unstoppable. I move about the house like a woman on a mission. And before I know it, Spring has sprung. I feel a sense of accomplishment, and am proud to have company admire my hard work. This year I promise myself not to put it off...I will get my Spring Cleaning done my very next free day. Yes, next free day it is! So looks like Saturday is the winner. Plus my six year old can lend a hand too. We might even have some fun, in spite of it all.

This Spring, don't go to bed waiting for Fairies to do the job...set aside a day and just do it! You'll be so happy that you did. You'd be amazed at how our surroundings affect how we face our days. If it's bright and sunny and clean, so is our attitude! Happy cleaning!

My Daily Routine

I find myself locked into this routine. It works, but I'd like to shake things up a bit. Add some variety to my life. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on auto-pilot every day. So I sat down to think what I could do differently without upsetting the apple cart. After much editing in my head, I realized that all most everything I do, people are depending on me to get things done by a certain time each day. Routine is important, especially for the kids. It seemed hopeless.

Then I realized that there were gaps in my day that were open. If I can't change up what I do every day, I can add some things to the mix. Maybe some real me time. Hey...not a bad idea.

So hear I am now, pondering all the new things I'd like to add to my day. I don't want to overload myself. I want variety, relaxation, enjoyment, and yes, maybe even a bit of work could get done. I'm sure if I thought about it, there are some things I've put on the back burner just waiting for me to start. There is that novel I've been thinking of writing. Too much? Maybe at first I could do smaller projects. A novel is a pretty big task to take on all of a sudden. I should ease my way into changing my routine.

I've decided to start an herb garden, clean out my closets, give myself a facial (once a week), and organize all my old photos. Not bad. Implementing those projects will not only allow me some me time, but I will also accomplish some things along the way. I might give my hand at scrapbooks if the photo organizing goes well, who knows.

Incredible the thought process I had to go through to add a little panache to my days. It's going to be worth it. I will be happier, and the people around me will benefit from my more relaxed attitude.

You just have toLet Yourself go

find a way toLend Yourself to others

so that you canLook inside Yourself

when Life gets toughand Laugh at Yourself

while Learning toLove Yourself

because you still have toLive with Yourself
© DreamMatrix 2007

What About Me?

"What about me?" An effortless thought as a child. Children have no problem putting themselves first. Something happens as we grow up. We learn to put others before us. We learn to tend to others needs before our own. Living a life of selflessness is honorable and commendable. Thinking of the other persons feelings is what sets us apart in the animal kingdom. We have the ability to express concern, empathy, and charity toward our fellow humans. And we are better poeple for it.

But you must think of yourself. Never taking time for just you is not healthy. We have to put ourselves first some times. Constantly neglecting ourselves doesn't allow us to give our full sleves to the World. We become miserable and can't figure out why. We know we should feel happy, but nothing sparks us. Parents often make the mistake of always putting the children before themselves. Then after some time they begin to feel empty inside. The children can sense it too, and soon the whole family is a bit off kilter.

The best gift you can give to others is to love yourself on a daily basis. Treat yourself well and take the time to make YOU happy too. We project much more positive vibes if we are content within our own self. So many people forget themselves along the way. They become lost in this giant World of ours. Work, family, friends, neighbors consume all of their time, leaving them with nothing for themselves.

So this week do at least one thing every day that makes you happy. Even if you can only squeeze in a few minutes, those minutes are pretious, use them only for YOU. Your contribution to this life is what you can bring from within. Being healthy and happy on the inside reflects in everything you do. Love yourself and the ones you love will thank you for it.

Looking for a Rose In a Pile of Dog S#!t

Some days it comes at you from all angles. Everywhere you turn life is smacking you in the face. Despite your every attempt to do the right thing, nothing seems to work. On those days it would be nice to hide out from the World and be just a casual observer. Let life take care of it's self. Only,people who choose to sit back and let life take care of it's self go nowhere. So you trudge through your day, silently wishing for just one thing to go right. You find yourself talking to those invisible forces that are so strongly invading your space. You had such high-hopes!

I, myself, have had quite a few of those days lately. I've lost count of how many times I have counted to ten, taken a deep breath, walked away, or smiled my way through a frustrating situation this week. Funny thing is, the best news I got this week came today, Friday the 13th. All I could think was, just my luck to have backwards luck.

When we are faced with adversity, feel backed up against the wall, and all appears hopeless; this is when we have to take a good look around. There has to be at least one bright spot. We cannot let our negative thoughts consume us. When we think negatively, we invite negativity into our lives. Turning the situation inside out, we can find some glimmer of hope in most troubles we have. No problem is ever hopeless, though it may seem so at the time. It's pretty tricky. It took me years to figure out how not to be negative within my thoughts. Writing a journal can help release that negativity. Worked for me. Writing a journal might not work for you, but there are many other things you can do to bring yourself around to more positive thinking.

• Walking (or some form of exercise): to give yourself some alone time to think things through
• Reading: to allow yourself escape from the problem(s) for a while. Brooding over a bad situation only let's us exaggerate it in our mind
• Time out with close friends: to give you the opportunity to get an outside opinion. Or just clear your head and have a good time away from you troubles
• Meditation: to find the light inside the darkness
• Make a list of Pros & Cons: to enable you to view your problems more clearly
• Talk to yourself: to ask yourself the hard questions that you haven't been able to face as yet. A good stern talking to is all you might need. Snap out of it!

Find the right thing for you and do it. You might be surprised. And you just might find a rose in that pile of dog shit!

What works for you? Let me know. Let's talk about it.

**Photo published by Haute*Nature

http://hautenature.blogspot.com/2008/04/michael-kalish-recycled-license-plate.html

**Artwork by: Michael Kalish--Recycled license plate Rose Art

isaynokay is now motivate4life

We Have A New Name...

Motivate 4 Life

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What motivated YOU today?

*New article coming today

Say 'No-Kay' To Bad Motivators

What do you think your bad motivators are? New ones pop up every day for us. Many, though, are embedded within us. Bad habits, as it were, from the past that we carry around with us, effect our thoughts and actions every single day. Old habits are hard to break. Learning to think a new way isn't so easy either.

Once you decide to rid yourself of the bad motivators in your life, the trick is to actually discover what they are. Then take action to change. The previous exercise is a good tool for discovering some bad motivators. Another insightful way to single them out is taking inventory of your life.

Make two lists on a sheet of paper, "Ways I Succeeded" and "Ways I've Failed". Think about all the things you have attempted throughout your life. We have all failed, many times over, as well as had many successes. Now is the time for you to take a look at what your motivations were that lead you down the path(s) to the decisions you made. By pointing out to yourself some of the misjudgements you made, you will gain greater understanding about yourself and what signals to look for in the future.

Write down your top three successes on an index card and keep them with you. When ever you're feeling down, or doubtful of yourself, take it out and look at it. Reminding yourself what you are capable of achieving works wonders for your motivation to move forward with a positive attitude.

As for the paper with your failures on it...throw it out! Throwing it away symbolizes getting rid of your old ways, telling yourself you are ready to start anew. Don't look back. Your future is waiting for you to take control.

Tomorrow...on to something new.

Looking for a Rose in the Pile of Dog Shit

Let's Get Motivated

What motivates you? The answer to that is not a simple one. Every aspect of our lives has it's own set of motivators or demotivators. Every decision we make is motivated by some outside source that sparked our thought processes. We tend to think of motivation only when we are dealing with the bigger issues. Like diet, exercise, or some life-changing event that could transform us. Truth is, everything we do is motivated from something else. We have simply learned to do them without thinking about the motivation that brought us to do it in the first place. Much motivation is subconscious. Our parents had a lot to do with our motivation and decision making when we were children. Everything, from the beginning, was them trying to motivate us to learn new things. Those motivations carry over into adulthood. We just don't think about it any more. You brush your teeth every day. You don't stop and think what your motivation was for doing it.

So the exercise for today is to examine everything (yes, I said, everything) that motivated us. It's a deep thinking exercise, designed to help you better understand who you are, and how you come to the decisions you do everyday. By looking at the mundain things in our life, we are more able to observe the bigger picture of who we are and where our motivations stem from. It allows us to take a peek at how our brains work.

Here's what I want you to do. Get a pad of paper (preferably new,with enough pages for you to make lists, jott notes, etc...). First thing in the morning make a list, with as much detail as possible, of everything you have planned for that day. Leave space between entries to add in things you do that were unplanned (no day goes exactly as planned, ever). Keep it with you so you can enter everything you have done.

All the small stuff counts. That's why this is such a deep thinking exercise. So you might want to pick a day you're home from work until you feel comfortable carrying your notebook everywhere with you. The first time you do this exercise is like a training run for you to get the hang of it. I know it sounds like a big pain in the butt. Your hard work will pay off in the end. Hang in there. It's all for the sake of good. It can be fun if you want it to be. I personally love a challenge.

Here is an example of what a typical list might look like:

• made coffee
• brushed teeth
• got dressed
• read e-mail
• called mom
• sent text to daughter
• watered lawn
• read e-mail
• twittered
• skipped breakfast/made lunch
• made bed
• went to store for cigarettes
• took a walk
• etc...

On and on until your day is done. Pick a quiet time to relax before you go to bed to sit and go over your list one by one. Next to each entry write why (what made you decide)you did what you did. This may take some real thinking, and some of your answers might seem silly to you. You have to remember that you don't normally think about why you do the things you do every day. The easiest way to aproach it is not to think too hard about every little thing. Your first thoughts are usually the ones to go with. Your inner mind will work for you if you allow it.

Once you have gone through the whole list, put it away.(Do not read over it. Do not change anything.) Sleep on it. Then when you have some time for yourself the next day, read over it. You will have a pretty good look at how your mind works. You are looking at yourself (at least a snapshot of yourself in one day and time) and seeing how you processed your way through the day.

This can be helpful in a many ways. You might find how you could better manage your time. You might find you drift through your day without much direction. You might find yourself to be too ridgid, not daring to stray off the beaten path. You might wonder why you're not motivated to do more with yourself (for yourself). You might find that you spend way too much time thinking of other people, and not enough on youself. The possibilities are endless. The door to self exploration is open. You might even want to try it another day to compare one day to the other.

Tomorrow we'll talk about what you can do for yourself once you have a better idea what motivates you through most of your day. How to throw out the negitive and keep the positive influences to make you stronger and more productive. We will talk about good motivation and bad motivation in our lives. How to recognise when what motivates you could be bad for you.

Visit me at Liveperson.com/cjs-gentle-approach

We can chat live or you can email me if I'm away from my desk. Let's find the best you you can be.

I'm a good listener and can offer life advice, perspective, motivation...it's all about you.