Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Criticism: The Door to Self-Improvement


Most people hate to be criticized. We feel as if we're being attacked if someone gives us an honest opinion and it's not the opinion we were hoping for. We have done our absolute best at something and want to be recognized for our accomplishments with praise. We are hurt if anyone finds fault or points out something from a different perspective. Even if somewhere inside us we secretly agree, it is instinct to protect our hard work and so we puff up our egos to sow disdain in their criticism. "Who are they to judge us?" we ask ourselves; when we probably asked for their opinion is the first place. They veered from the script we had intended to hear from them, and we are not amused.

Granted, some are better than others at accepting criticism. Even if it's not outwardly shown, everyone is at least a little hurt by negative remarks about anything they put so much time and effort into. We see ourselves as failures if we don't 'hit the mark' on the first go. We are a proud people, us humans. I doubt that little birdie building his nest in the tree out in the yard would care in the least what you thought about his efforts.

Ego is good. We all have one. The trick is learning to keep it in check. We have to teach ourselves to remain grounded, no matter how great our accomplishments have been. We are, after all, still human as everyone else. We are limited to our own sight. Having an outside opinion can open doors to areas we might never have considered had we not listened to what was said to us.

Most importantly, if we ask for a person's opinion, we have to be willing to accept it without becoming defensive. We have to ask ourselves, "Do I really want to know what this person thinks?"

The answer will all most always be, yes. The real question is if we are ready to hear it.

We are the worst critics of ourselves there are. We condemn everything we do at one point or another, until it is perfect to us and we are satisfied we have done our best. That is why we are so quick to defend ourselves. Learning to let go of our ego isn't an easy thing to do. Letting our work open for interpretation of others takes a thick-skin and a certain comfort level with our self. Until we can be comfortable knowing we will never perfect, we will never be able to accept honest criticism with on open mind.

Self acceptance and realization that we are fallible and imperfect are so necessary when we are reaching for our goals in life. We have to free up ourselves to mistakes. Allow ourselves to fall once in a while so we learn to pick ourselves up again and not quit. Acceptance equals determination. If we are determined to accept ourselves, our acceptance will determine who we are.

No comments:

Post a Comment

What's on YOUR mind?